The Plan Is Totally Real (Please Don’t Ask for It)

n higher education, it’s not unusual to hear that “a plan is in place”—especially during committee meetings, strategic retreats, or campus-wide updates. Yet somehow, the details remain curiously absent. This satirical post explores the myth of the totally real plan: often referenced, never documented. It’s a humorous take on academic planning, strategic ambiguity, and the comforting illusion of progress.

We’ve got a plan. Not just any plan, but rather a genuinely magnificent plan, the kind of plan that makes other plans feel like hastily scribbled grocery lists.

But alas, I cannot share the details of this awe-inspiring plan, for revealing them would, by definition, strip it of its mysterious brilliance. You see, the plan’s greatest strength is its invisibility.

It’s like the superhero of plans, cloaked in shadows, undetectable to the untrained eye. If I told you more, it would lose its power, and no one wants a plan that’s just...visible.

So, rest assured, the plan exists, thriving in its stealthy greatness. You won’t see it coming, though trust in the unseen.

So yes, the plan exists. It is a totally real plan. Just do not expect to see it. In the world of higher education, the most powerful strategies are the ones that remain invisible, untraceable, and undeniably brilliant in theory.

Trust the process. Or at least pretend to.